guidance « Goddess Power with the Psychic Cowgirl

Soul Wisdom

Posted by Creative Goddess on July 15, 2010 in guidance, lessons with No Comments

I am feeling the weight of some “shoulds” right now. then I received Denise Linns newsletter and she spoke about “shoulds” too. link to her info at bottom of page.

we are constantly bombarded with information. In the hypnosis course I am taking it talks about overloading with information to get people to a state where they can be hypnotized and suggestible. isn’t that pretty much our daily existance. overloaded with information. do this, do that , this is the RIGHT way, that is the WRONG way. oh, now this other way is right. use this product, don’t use that product. eat this, do not eat that. etc….. no wonder we all feel such overwhelm.

it is a challenge to sort out all the messages. taking the time to meditate ( by simply being for a few minutes) is a definite help to sort out information. I learned from my hypnosis class, that a good nights sleep is very important also. going to sleep and getting enough helps sort out the messages and discard anything that is not of value.

it is no wonder we are looking for the answers outside ourselves, we are all in a sense hypnotized to not trust our own inner wisdom. that is backwards. trusting our inner or souls wisdom and then looking to the outside messages to see if they fit or not feels like a better way.

doing this does create a sense of responsibility and ownership of your life and your choices. if you are living the other way, you do have something or someone to blame when things do not go as you want them too. in fact, no one has any control or power over you unless you give it to them. makes you ponder doesn’t it?

one thing that I have learned is that all information has some form of bias. the beliefs of the person who passed on the info or created the info. same with my writing this blog. it is my opinion, and what I believe and may or may not be true for everyone. that is up to each individual to decide.

I can only decide what is right for me. I intend to listen to my own soul and go from that perspective. so what if I am wrong. I am here to learn, and really it cannot be wrong because every experience gives a valuable lesson. so, I release myself from the “shoulds” that are in my energy right now, and go forward with my personal truths. I invite you all to do the same. lots of hugs. Shannon

here is a link to Denise Linns newsletter Spit on the Buddha

asthma in my 6 yr old.

Posted by Creative Goddess on July 4, 2010 in flow of life, guidance with 2 Comments

I have a son with Asthma. he is six. His asthma is triggered by allergies. fresh cut grass, pollens and dust are some of the known triggers. Anxiety for himself and when my husband is anxious seem to trigger him too. watching your child struggle to breathe is such a helpless feeling. he has an inhaler, and he knows how to use it. having your child need chemicals to breathe is not an easy thing to deal with either. His attacks are not consistent. it varies. he can go months without an attack, and then it happens. we have been to many doctors, homeopaths and natureopaths. bio feedback machines, pretty much anything that may help. it is a struggle for him and us.

I am wishing we stumble upon a miracle cure, a magic fix, or at least some tools to help him control his attacks. my son loves rodeos and bull sales. unfortunately dusty places are one of the triggers. as a parent it is a hard choice, how can I prevent him from doing some of his very favorite things and yet how can I not when it affects his breathing. when he has an attack after one of these outings, his anxiety makes it worse, because he is worried he will not be able to go ever again. we went to a rodeo yesterday. he and his little brother had an amazing day watching the cowboys and cowgirls, playing in a playground with friends and enjoying the sun and the dust. by the end of the day he was getting labored. he did not want to leave. and us feeling like really bad parents because we forgot the inhaler. we did have his allergy medicine, but he did need his inhaler. we came home, he had a shower and had to have his inhaler at regular intervals. this morning he wanted to go to the emergency room. he was feeling better, but if he wants to go, we take him. we feel it lets him have some control over the situation. as he was getting ready to walk out the door, he told me the events he wanted to go in when he is 8 at the rodeo. I smiled and reminded him of some other events that we watched kids in the day before. oh yeah he said, those too. then my husband took him to town. shortly after I got a phone call, they were at Wal Mart. My six year old was feeling way better and did not want to go to the emergency room. I think it was mainly the anxiety that there will be no more rodeos in his future. that would break his heart. he would rather choose not to breathe than not to enjoy a rodeo. we do not go to many. one or two a year and they have to be out door. we are focusing on figuring out tools for him to handle his asthma rather than let it limit his life, although it will. he does not get triggered during sports. he can run or ride his bike all day and he is fine. I wish I knew exactly what to do for him. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away. this is a huge learning for a ll of us.

then there is that huge fear that he may stop breathing altogether. when he is sick like this he wants his dad. so, although he was tucked in sleeping the night with his dad to keep an eye on him, I was up a few times in the night to make sure he was breathing. as aware as I am that being here in this body at this time is completely each individuals choice. I also know that it is their choice of when they leave. If my son decides that he is done with this plane of existence and chooses to leave this body, I have no choice but to honour that since there is nothing I can do about it. I am completely scared that he will choose that. terrified really. causes me sleepless nights and tears. yes, I am worrying about something that may or may not happen, but it is the helplessness of the situation for me. I know that my son is way smarter than I am. I love the adventure and the wonder that he has brought to our lives. I am completely selfish and want to keep him around to see him grow up and be amazed at how he chooses to live his life.

for anyone with a child who has illness you know what I am writing about. those fears that sneak in as you are laying in bed trying to sleep, when you really want to hold that child as tight as you can and not let them go. the frustrations that you feel that there seems to be no cures, or answers from the doctors. makes you want to scream and yell because they seem to not understand that your child being able to breath is the most important thing in the whole world and they better pull their head out of their ass and make it happen! ( this is why my husband takes my son to the emergency room and not me) the numerous doctor visits that seem to have no results. the months that go by without an attack and then whamo. you struggle to remember the exact events hoping that their will be answers as to what triggered him. I do feel helpless, but not hopeless. He may grow out of this, their may be new developments to aid him in this illness. so, I am going to keep searching for answers and call on all my guidance to aid. harder to do this when I am so completely attached to the outcome, but I will do my best. I have heard of an asthma doctor not too far away from us, I will track him down and see what happens. we will continue on our journey to find tools and answers to make his asthma a minor inconvenience and not a major one. Meanwhile lots of hugs, prayers and enjoying life with my munchkin is on the agenda. living from a place of love and not fear. when those fears trickle in, I will remind myself to trust the universe, and be present in this moment, and give and get hugs.

Warrior Mommy Victory

Posted by Creative Goddess on June 27, 2010 in flow of life, guidance, lessons with No Comments

as I reflect back on this last week of embracing warrior mommy to deal with a situation. I am very proud of myself and my son. I did not go all vigilante justice, ” how dare someone punch my baby” I may have thought it. :)

I used my techniques for healing and calming myself to stay centered and focused. I took the time to meditate and be clear on how I wanted to handle this so that the outcome was a lesson for everyone. myself included. My main concern was of course my son. I wanted him to know that it is ok to tell an adult and that something will be done. I also wanted him to know that his mommy is on his side. as moms we are usually the disciplinarians. I felt it was important for my son to see me as warrior mommy who knows he did not deserve to be punched.

I succeeded. the other moms have commented to me how happy and chatty my son has been the last few days. they are impressed with the change that they see. Of course with the super fabulous Mommy network, they know exactly what happened and what I did about it.

I did have a nice chat with the principal about how it would help kids to be taught some other tools to handle their emotions. I let him know that I teach meditation, and I will research meditations for kids. I also suggested we have a conversation over the summer about this. we shall see if this happens. on the super fabulous mommy network , I have heard that our principal does the ” I hear what you are saying, and I will keep an eye on it” we all know what that means. It is the equivalent of the thanks for your concern pat on the head and now go away.

my philosophy is that actions speak way louder than words, so we shall see what happens. I do intend to be a member of the parent council, and to be part of the solutions. I am not convinced that the zero tolerance for bullying is feasible, or even implemented.

my heart aches for the kids who do not speak up and for the kids being mean. there is always a reason for their actions. I know I cannot heal the whole world, but I can do my best. I have had a very favorable response to teaching kids meditation. I am planning a parent-munchkin mediation class. they can learn the techniques together and support each other. my kids will say Mom~ I think we need to listen to George Strait when they feel Mommy NEEDS to go to her happy place. after the class, kids will be able to say ” Mommy ~ BREATHE~ and have you meditated today?

when you start a movement with a few, the ripple affect reaches many.

I am so impresses with my son. he has no trouble with forgiveness. I went to an event that involved all the kids who were part of this, to observe the interaction. my son had asked me to come, his words were ” just in case….” I was completely impressed. I saw my son interact with the kid that punched him and they both were positive. one of the huge benefits of being able to read energies is that I knew the other kid is not intentionally malicious. he does not have that energy, at all. he does have a busy energy and learning to channel that in a different way may be helpful for him, and for all kids to learn to do that.

this was a lesson for me on how to stand up and get results in a quiet but extremely firm way. I was very blunt in my expectation of the principal. it worked. taking the time to stay grounded and centered and not embracing the justice must be done energies; helped a lot. I was able to see the situation from all sides and come up with a solution that created learning, healing, accountability and results that were realistic. I also learned how truly amazing the Mommy network is for support, inspiration, and advice. wahoo!! for that.

I can say that I am extremely happy that there is only two more days of school. I am very ready for summer vacation to start. As moms we have the challenge of wanting to protect our children, at the same time we do not want to be over protective, or be blind to what our child is up to that may not be appropriate behavior. challenging, but we can handle it.

As some of the energies that I channel say” we are way more powerful than we realize” once we can get ourselves into the energies of empowerment and embrace that it is all a learning experience, and mistakes are only lessons. not disasters. Feeling proud of our mistakes as proof that we took a risk and tried something, instead of the shame that it did not work, is a better energy. we are here to learn and experience. I always ask myself: is the risk is worth the reward. sometimes the answer is yes, sometimes the answer is no.

So, I celebrate this victory and enjoy the sparkle in my sons eyes and the confidence that this has given him. (and me) a big yipee yipee yahoo!! all around.

Bullying

Posted by Creative Goddess on June 23, 2010 in Intentions, flow of life, guidance with 3 Comments

as I chat with other moms, and receive e-mails about their experiences, I am saddened and appalled. the stories all have a similar theme. their child was being bullied and nothing was done in the school system. it carried on for months until the child stood up for himself/herself. sometimes that got them into trouble. but the bullying stopped. makes me ponder if the zero tolerance for bullying dogma we hear is just that. a case of talking the talk, but not walking the walk.

I am taking a stand on our incident. I have had moms tell me are you sure? what if it gets worse? I understand where they are coming from, and I empathize. right now though, I have an opportunity to take a stand and I am going to do my best, even though it feels uncomfortable and I am concerned for my son. I see why a lot is swept under the rug, and excuses made. Occurs to me that we moms and dads are being bullied by the system. everyone I have spoken with is frustrated and feel that they are not taken seriously or are “handled” to keep them appeased. I find this wrong.

I have asked for a written apology for my son and for the bus driver. that is all I have asked for. I do not feel it is asking too much. We shall see what happens with that. so far I have not heard anything. I am very curious to see how this plays out. Warrior Mommy may be headed to the school tomorrow.

as Moms and Dads we have a focus on keeping our children safe, and teaching them to be the best themselves they can be. We also extend that to our communities, schools and extended family and friends. when we run into what feels like a brick wall in accomplishing this it can create a feeling of defeat. that is not helping, but …. you can see how it happens.

We are to tell our kids to let an adult know, but has that worked? or do the adults get tired of hearing about it and the kids get a label of tattle tale? And nothing happens, except the kids are afraid to talk. this is one of my big concerns in our situation. I know that my son has kept quiet about a lot of what has happened. why? has he told and nothing got done, so he gave up? kids are smart and they learn survival skills early. we as parents have to place a trust in the system, but does it actually work? there is such a balancing act that goes on. we want our kids to be able to tell, but we do not want them to be a tattle tale. how to figure that out? there is a lot that goes on in school that we do not know about. how to handle that? I am so glad the school year is almost over. I will be spending the summer raising the confidence of my munchkins.

so, the initiatives regarding bullying are not working. here is what has worked, is that the child being bullied got the confidence to stand up for himself and fought back and the bullying stopped. there is a valuable lesson there. self -esteem classes in the school may very well be better spent money than what they are doing now. classes on anger and frustration management and tools for the kids to handle all their emotions is another great idea.

it seems to me that it is time to look at it differently. Instead of focusing on punishing the bully, what if we make them accountable for their actions, but focus on the child being bullied. the bully I am thinking has also had such an experience and is acting out their frustration by feeling powerful being mean to someone smaller. what if the focus is on teaching him or her other tools to handle their emotions. we cannot change what has happened to make them act the way they do, but we can change how they handle things in the future.

this has inspired me to create meditation classes for kids. I will start there and see where that takes me. I am choosing to come up with solutions, instead of feeling powerless, and upset.

we, as moms are powerful and we do know how to create change. all the Spiritual leaders say that it is the women who will create the change the world is longing for. I believe they are right.

thank you to everyone who shared their stories with me. My wish is for a solution that helps everyone. Kids to be more confident, bullies to find other ways to deal with life, Moms and Dads to feel confident that their child is having a mostly positive school experience.

hugs to everyone!

warrior mommy

Posted by Creative Goddess on June 21, 2010 in Intentions, flow of life, guidance, lessons with No Comments

today I got a phone call from the bus driver saying there was an incident on the bus. my first reaction was crap! is my munchkin OK? my 6 year old is small for his age. he is slim, and I know that he can be easily pushed around. he has a huge heart and would do anything not to hurt someone else, even if it meant he got hurt. so when the bus driver told me he got punched, I was horrified and my heart hurt. then warrior mummy kicked in. how dare someone hurt my boy!

I listened to the whole story from the bus driver. seems he got caught in the middle of a spat between 2 other kids. raises a lot of questions. why did the kid who hit my boy, not hit the boy who was irritating him? is it because my boy is smaller? or did he randomly swing and my boy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. how to know the truth?

so, off I went to the school to check on my munchkin. he had a hard time talking about it and told us everything that happened except the getting punched part. I wanted to cry. you can tell that he did not want to talk about that part. it took a while to get it out of him. the principal was very patient and listened and asked great questions.

this sucks. so many questions and while I do have compassion for the boy who hit my boy. being able to read energies I can understand that he is a frustrated boy. BUT my job is to protect my boy. He has told me before that he is scared of this other kid. I spent time with this other kid on a recent field trip and he is not malicious, but he is aggressive. he also has size.

now what do I do. It is June, the kids are all getting sick of each other, and this incident can be written off to those extra energies, and the kid randomly swung, etc, etc…. but do I want to. this is not an isolated incident according to the bus driver. she is frustrated. what if he intentionally chose my boy to hit because he is smaller and gentler and the other kid may have hit him back. I want my boy to know that his bus driver, principal, teachers and of course his parents have his back. although he may not have the physical size to defend himself there are other options. he can ask for an adults help. hopefully the adult will listen and not be too busy, distracted etc…. and create an action.

the schools say zero tolerance for bullying, yet what is the definition of being bullied? I think this qualifies, and it is up to me to be the squeaky wheel for something to be done. Is it the schools responsibility to teach kids tools to manage their anger and frustration? or is it up to the parents? what if the parents are not up to that challenge, then what?

how do I teach my boy to defend himself, that he has the power to stop a bully when he is physically smaller than other kids. tell an adult absolutely, but what about when the adults do nothing? when they are busy, distracted,or too many kids needing something. how do we as moms handle this?

do I go in demanding justice? no that is not right. do I demand a consequence with the intention of helping the other kid who hit mine, to understand that it is a good idea for him to figure out other ways to let out his frustration?

is it up to me? why yes it is, isn’t it. since the opportunity has presented itself. I am finding that I am taking a stand. it would be way easier to make excuses for the other kid, and to be tolerant and compassionate and turn the other cheek. but what is that saying to my kid? that the other kid is having a rough life right now or not ( I do not know for sure) and that he was just frustrated and did not mean to hit you. SO!!! the fact is that he did hit my kid. and that is so not OK.

it is none of my business why the other kid hit mine, unless my kid was deliberately provoking him, it is my business that he did hit my kid. and that I will stand up for my boy and demand that there is a consequence. if I do not, then who will?

it is easy for me to be compassionate to the other kid and make excuses, but that is doing my kid a disservice. he is no less important. I do not want the message to be that just because someone is having a bad day and took it out on you by hitting you that it is OK. it is NOT OK, at 6 years old, or at 7 years old, or at 40 years old. especially when you hit someone smaller who cannot defend themselves. I plan on talking to my munchkin when he gets home to get a feel of how he is doing, and what he would like to happen. as much as this sucks, and I am not entirely comfortable making a fuss ( what will they think) I also know that if I do not; what happens next time, and we all know there will be a next time. I will take this as a learning opportunity for me and my 6 year old. and take a cue form my 4 year old who absolutely does not let anyone push him around. I have watched him defend his older brother ( not bigger~4 year old out weighs the 6 year old) in a manner that was amazing. he ran screaming right up into a kids face who was picking on his brother. the other kid totally backed off. it was amazing, and a perfect way to handle a bully, without hitting.

I am also sure I will be called in when my 4 year old starts kindergarten, because he was defending himself and his brother in a manner maybe not so appropriate, but I will deal with that when the time comes. right now we are working on teaching them both appropriate behavior. Like we only say Sh*t when chasing cows. not in school. or on the bus.

oh the challenges of being a parent and trying your best to be good at it. to all the other moms out there if you have any tips for me, please share.